'Can You Hear Me?' Woman On Zoom Date Feels No Connection, Has Shit WiFi

ALBUQUERQUE, NM—Courtney Willams, 28, took her friend’s advice and decided to take the plunge and begin meeting new people online. After her first Zoom date, she reported not feeling a connection due to shoddy wifi.

“It just wasn’t working out. I could barely get a sentence in during our date. He didn’t ask me any questions, and the screen would freeze for like 30 seconds,” said Willams, as she examined her router. ”I couldn’t really tell if he was sending me mixed signals unless I was in a different room in the house. Eventually, I decided to end the date prematurely. I told him my wifi was acting up again and I had to restart my router, but I just logged off and left. It wouldn’t have worked out anyway. He was an AT&T guy and I’m an Xfinity girl.”

Williams has since stolen her neighbor’s wifi and her love life has improved drastically.