30-Year-Old Embarrassed To Download TikTok, Totally Okay Living In Parents’ Basement

DULUTH, MN—Like many Millennials, Paul Dillon, 30, has flat out refused to download the micro-clip social media sensation TikTok, calling it "wack." Dillon is, however, totally cool with living in the basement of his parents’ Minnesota home.

At first, it appears that Dillon has a lot in common with the teens: he lives at home, he’s unemployed, he hides his drinking from his parents, and he has to ask permission to borrow the sedan every time he wants to use it. However, when we asked Dillon for his thoughts on the app, he was very vocal about his distaste.

“I’m embarrassed for anyone on that teeny-bopper app," he said as he watched Spongebob re-runs on the world's deepest television. "I only watch TikToks that are posted on Instagram because I’m an adult!”

While his mom was folding his laundry behind him, he went on to say that he misses “the golden age of Vine” and that he will gladly watch Instagram Reels before TikTok. Even his parents have expressed their concern.

"I worry about Paulie," said Nancy Dillon, 57. "Reels is basically like a knock off version of TikTok. Poor thing."

Despite not having a door for his basement, Dillon also mentioned his privacy concerns about the app.

“I don’t want China stealing my information from TikTok—I have a Facebook for that.”

All in all, Dillon seems to have a lot going for him. He proudly showed off his basement abode that he recently decked out with a previously owned futon and a Scarface poster. He says he has nothing to be ashamed of and that many 30-year-olds are moving back in with their parents because it’s a smart financial decision and not because their credit score is completely fucked.