Vaccinated Man Forgoes Visiting Grandparents To See 'The Fate Of The Furious' In Theaters

QUEENS, NY—Sitting amongst the sparse, socially-distanced crowd of moviegoers, newly vaccinated man Tenoch Morales has reportedly forgone a visit with his 80-year-old, sickly grandparents to “finally” see the latest Fast & Furious franchise film.

“It’s been a year since I’ve gone to the movies, and about three years since the last Fast film came out,” said Morales with his phone on airplane mode to avoid any calls or texts from family members. “Even if it’s an emergency, I don’t want to miss John Cena steering his Mustang off a cliff just because my parent’s basement is flooding again."

As vaccine rollout increases around the country, major film studios are expecting a huge box office bump from Americans making their gleeful return to the theaters instead of visiting near-death family members.

“With the vaccine, I can go back to doing everything I love. And yes, watching Ludacris drive an ambulance through an ancient Thai temple was more of a priority than picking up my mom’s thyroid medication from the drug store. Her ass can wait. Luda!"

Morales, like many fans of the series, believes those who criticize the franchise for its simplicity are shortsighted.

“In the trailer when Michelle Rodriguez says, ‘I’d ride to the death with you,’ she’s essentially renewing her vows to Vin Diesel’s character, her one true love. And to see that after their 20-year saga is kind of beautiful. Unlike my parents, who’ve been married for fifty years and think reigniting their spark would be a fire hazard.”

At press time, sources confirmed Morales had left the theater feeling content with his decision to enjoy the battle between street racers and cyber terrorists, saw a voicemail of his father, and turned back for a second viewing.