Taco Truck Deemed 'Not Authentic' By Man In Khaki Dockers

PORTLAND, OR—Early this afternoon, Portland’s culinary scene reeled as taco truck Taqueria Fresco was deemed “not the real deal” by an unidentified man wearing khaki Dockers. While the longtime Southeast Portland fixture has been the favorite of many for years, it is too early to tell if its reputation has been struck a deadly blow by the critical appraisal of a man whose name is probably either Brent or Brad or both. 

According to witnesses, the self-proclaimed “taco-spert,” who has vacationed in both Baja, Mexico and Baja, California, sized up the taco truck almost immediately and was not impressed.

“They don’t even have their menu up in those cool letters, you know, that you, like, use for cool signs,” the khaki-wearer evaluated. “And it doesn’t look like they have chorizo, which is, super authentic.”

“Wait, no, they have it,” the man corrected himself after perusing the truck's website on his Android.

Evaluating Taqueria Fresco further, the man, whose Tinder profile lists his interests as “tacos and other tacos,” pointed several other key features of authenticity that were missing.

“For one thing, they have regular Coke in a can instead of real, authentic Mexi-Coke in a glass bottle. And they have Jarritos, but I’ve already heard of all these flavors, so it’s not really wowing me.”

Following this, the man (who reportedly once called a bell pepper “muy caliente”) spent several minutes holding up the line while he attempted to order several carnitas tacos in Spanish before giving up.