STUDY: Average Wedding-Goer Regrets Joining 'Macarena' At That Weird Talking Part
BALTIMORE, MD—The Department of Sociology at Johns Hopkins University has released the findings of a five-year study on the 1996 Los Del Rio song “Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix),” and its associated dance, which became a global phenomenon in the late 90s. It concludes that the average participant in the inescapable wedding dance staple regrets their decision to join at the one-minute, ten-second mark of the track.
“That’s the portion of the song where the spoken word bits kick in,” said Dr. Krisha Patel, the chief of research at Johns Hopkins who oversaw the study. “It’s where we learn that the woman at the center of it has a boyfriend and is openly flirting with two of his friends on a dance floor while he’s serving in the army. No, seriously. That’s what it says in Spanish during the “Hey, Macarena” choruses. It’s the kind of thing that seems as if it should be problematic, even misogynistic. And yet, my sister insisted on putting it on her wedding playlist.”
“Pair that with the rapid, repetitive motions everyone has been going through up until that point,” Patel continued, “and it becomes physically uncomfortable as well as mentally. But that’s just the start.”
The study illustrates that test subjects’ discomfort increased as the motions of the dance continued against the song’s inconsistent backbeat, instrumental segments, and arbitrary dialogue samples—particularly the line “I am not trying to seduce you” at the one minute, fifty-three-second mark.
“That’s pretty much exactly what’s being depicted,” Dr. Patel explained. “It’s the kind of thing no one realizes until they’re out there literally going through the motions. All of that instrumental space gave our subjects plenty of time to think about how ridiculous they looked doing a dance that is a quarter-century old. It also dawned on them that this dance has twice as many motions as the one depicted in the video. Have you ever noticed that? It drives me nuts whenever I stop to think about it.”
Dr. Patel extrapolated on the standard sequence of events that the study outlined in their test case volunteers.
“We placed everyone in a private nightclub with a dance floor, an open bar, and a really smokin’ DJ. We gave them about an hour to mingle, have a few drinks, and then summon the courage to dance. We played a few killer tracks like 'Oye Como Va,' 'Hey Ya!,' and Daft Punk's 'One More Time.' Just to get them into the spirit."
"Once our subjects heard 'Macarena,' they squealed with delight, put down their drinks, and ran out onto the floor. Then by the time that weird part came around—what we're calling Patel's Zone—there it was. You could just feel the air getting sucked out of the room. Kind of sad. They were getting along like gangbusters. The findings were consistent across the board.”
Dr. Patel said she hopes the study will help the public make informed choices regarding their playlists as society slowly returns to normal following the global COVID-19 pandemic. Similar studies are being planned in the coming years for “The Cupid Shuffle,” Cotton-Eyed Joe,” and "Asereje (The Ketchup Song).”
