Smurf Rights Activists Distance Themselves From 'Blue Lives Matter' Movement
WASHINGTON D.C.—At a press conference yesterday, Papa Smurf, President, and Spokesperson of the Smurf Rights Movement (SRM) delivered a statement disassociating the group from the social media hashtag “Blue Lives Matter.”
“Several social media posts have manifested linking SRM with the Blue Lives Matter movement,” Papa Smurf said, standing on a mushroom cap. “We’d like to make it abundantly clear that this was the product of a hack operation, most likely by far-right nationalist groups. This was not an action approved or overseen by any SRM members, any council smurfs of the Smurf Village and was decidedly un-Smurfy.”
The hashtag “Blue Lives Matter” is associated with the social countermovement of the same name that claims to support law enforcement officials. Blue Lives Matter has drawn criticism for downplaying or ignoring racially motivated actions by police and has also garnered support from far-right ideologues and hate groups such as the Proud Boys. Mr. Smurf addressed these points in his statement.
“While we have the utmost respect for the men and women in law enforcement,” Mr. Smurf said, “we do not condone police brutality or racial discrimination of any kind. We will not tarnish the egalitarian aims of our movement by being associated with it. Equity is a Smurfy value. As you can see, we are a community of color ourselves, but the color in question here is purely coincidental. I repeat: we are not cops. We are smurfs. Please stop calling us bastards and pigs.
"We welcome any feedback from the public and elected officials," Mr. Smurf continued. "We are grateful to have been granted asylum here in the U.S. from Smurf Village, which was decimated at the hands of the tyrant Gargamel. We thank Vice President Harris for her generous pledge of support.”
Since its formation, SRM has been met with both support and criticism. According to a Pew Research poll, 65 percent of the American public have a generally favorable view of the group, but numbers vary along with other metrics.
While a majority of respondents to the poll respected the right of the group to hold public demonstrations, they conversely found the demonstrations both “disruptive” and “underwhelming.” This was due to the size of the participants involved and the hazard that they present to everyday foot traffic. A vast majority of respondents (90 percent) also found the song that the marchers constantly sing, comprised only of the lyrics “La-la-la-la-la-la,” to be incredibly annoying and impossible to get out of one’s head.
Other criticisms leveled against the SRA include a lack of gender inclusivity, as the group only seems to boast one prominent female member, Smurfette, who was largely relegated to the background of Tuesday’s event. Fox News commentator Tucker Carlson devoted a segment of Tucker Carlson Tonight that evening to declare the Biden Administration’s support of Smurf refugees “an attempt to normalize a communist agenda.”
“Don't be fooled, folks. Just look at how identity is assessed in Smurf culture,” Carlson said. “Handy Smurf, Painter Smurf, Farmer Smurf, Chef Smurf. Do their names precede their occupations or vice-versa? Where does free enterprise factor into the Smurf economy? Or does it at all?"
"For that matter," Carlson continued, "What about free will? If you ask me, it’s just another way that the Democrats are making conformity and the slow erosion of personal choice and individual liberty the norm. Is that ‘Smurfy,’ Papa? You tell me. What does that even mean, ‘Smurfy?’ It seems pretty arbitrary.’”
