Piece Of Paper With Cafe’s WiFi Password May Contain Ancient Hieroglyphs

DANVILLE, CA—A group of archaeologists was stunned yesterday when they sat down for lunch at local eatery Sarah’s Kitchen and asked for the wifi password. When given the fortune cookie-sized strip of paper, they made an astonishing discovery: the password was written entirely in what looked like ancient Coptic hieroglyphs.

“At first glance, these characters could be misconstrued as English letters and numbers,” said Hardbird University Professor Joshua Owens. “But when you look closely it’s obvious that whoever wrote the password was from a different society entirely, one that ceased to exist thousands of years ago.”

Carbon dating of the paper revealed that it could be anywhere from 2 weeks to 2,000 years old.

“We couldn’t pinpoint an origin era because of all the coffee stains and crumpling,” said Owens. “But the importance of this discovery cannot be overstated as it suggests the existence of a flourishing ancient civilization in the Danville area, one that had access to advanced technology such as a number two pencil.”

Initially, they were told the password was pronounced “wet one 98,” but after extensive research and vocal reconstruction of the piece, Owens is confident that the more time-appropriate pronunciation is likely “owl owl tree moon water vessel."

This fascinating discovery has brought an influx of tourists and diners alike to Sarah’s Kitchen, where owner Tony Cocina proudly displays the specimen on the front counter “so everyone can stop fucking asking for it.”