Old Lady Has ATM Transaction Down To 17 Minutes

RACINE, WI—Sources reported Monday that local old woman, Sylvia Aaron, now has her ATM transition time down to roughly 17 minutes (on a good day).

Aaron, who visits the ATM kiosk of her local bank, Western Trust, an average of 5 to 7 times per week, significantly more than the average customer who uses Trust’s Smartphone App from their home or work office, was reported by several onlookers to have really tightened up her transaction time during her last visit.

“There was far less of her going from looking in her purse to opening her checkbook this time,” noticed Charles Samuel, a fellow bank customer. "It was almost as if she did just a little bit of prep while in her car in the parking lot or maybe at least took the time to sort out a few deposit or withdrawal slips before walking up—neither of which customers need anymore to do either deposits or withdrawals, especially at the ATM. But hey, good for her.”

Another onlooker and Western Trust employee, Sherri Steele added, “Yeah, when I last saw Sylvia here, I noticed on my smoke break that there were far fewer beeps coming from the ATM line. Usually, I’m distracted by them as I’m scrolling through Facebook and immediately know it’s her, sometimes without even looking up. She’s getting better!” Steele added, “I’m so proud of her.”

At press time, when reached out for comment, Aaron was unavailable and had been inside the bank, completing a more complicated transaction for the last 42 minutes.