Fare Evader Avoids Five Cops Playing Candy Crush On Phone, Tackled By Sixth Cop Whose Phone Was Out Of Battery
NEW YORK, NY—As the crime wave in New York worsens, a new video released by the NYPD shows how rampant minor offenses are becoming, with footage showing a young man, Nate Pine, a 23-year-old retail worker from The Bronx, avoiding paying the MTA fare by calmly walking past five separate cops playing Candy Crush on their phones before being tackled and pinned to the ground by a sixth uniformed officer.
“It was really lucky that I happened to have spent all my Lucky Lollipops on Level 462 before that guy could commit his heinous act," the officer, Greg Miller, stated, his knee still on Pine's back.
"My phone was completely drained of battery, which may or may not have anything to do with the 100-or-so separate tabs I had open showing every member of the Maxim Hot 100. This allowed me to notice the suspect and complete the recommended NYPD course of action: escalate, tackle, pose for applause.”
The other five cops’ behavior, however, was also commended by NYPD Community Liaison Todd Standish, who noted, “Level 548 is no easy one to conquer. You got yer double jelly squares, yer bubblegum pop, yer sugar crush. It needs the manpower of five uniformed officers to complete. It’s not their fault a common thug, who may have been carrying a concealed weapon of some sort, chose that moment to steal $2.75 from the MTA.”
As a result of the incident, NYPD brass indicated that they will double the number of officers at 149th St. / Grand Concourse, which will allow officers to develop strategies for the later levels of Angry Birds as well.
