US Soccer Fan Closely Monitors Middle Eastern Friend’s Reaction During USA v. Iran Match

BROOKLYN, NY—The highly anticipated Iran v. USA World Cup match has fans all over the country excited in hopes for a United States victory, especially 30-year-old Jeff Rossi who is mostly interested in watching his best friend David's reaction to the game. 

“Obviously, I can’t wait to see the United States absolutely destroy the Iranians,” said the self described pacifist Rossi while putting up a giant American Flag in his apartment. “But I am more interested to see who David is rooting for. Every time I’ve brought up how the US will crush and pillage the Iranians, he gets a little uneasy. Feels sus. I wonder whose side he’s really on, if you know what I mean.”

David, who has been Rossi’s friend of five years, has been a bit surprised about his friend’s new found love for soccer. 

“Lately he won’t stop talking about how Pulisic is going to ‘reign destruction on Iran.' He always said soccer was lame so I am just surprised how into the game he’s gotten and that he even knows who Pulisic is,” said David while unwrapping a present from Rossi. “This is the second American Flag t-shirt he’s sent me today.” 

Although Rossi is a new soccer fan, he reportedly fell quickly in love with the sport.

“Soccer is so exciting! I mean—I’ve only ever seen one game but I’d love to see our boys in blue just bomb the goalie over and over again,” said Rossi while picking up a pair of binoculars. “These are perfect to see if David’s eyes get a little teary when Polansky—I mean Pulisic—scores four goals tomorrow. I have a direct view into his apartment. I have a drone setup right outside."

However, David is unfazed as he is rooting for another team entirely. 

“My dad is Mexican so I am actually rooting for Mexico this year. I’m pretty sure Jeff thinks I am middle eastern because my mom is one fourth Lebanese and I fasted once for Ramadan to support a Muslim friend,” said David while picking up little American flags Rossi hid in his apartment. “I swear these are bugged. Maybe it’s just me being paranoid.” 

Regardless of the outcome, Rossi is excited to spend time with David bonding over their love for sports. 

“I just can’t wait to see the game with one of my best friends no matter what happens,” said Rossi, dressed up in a Captain America costume, removing David’s Mexican flag from his apartment. “I can't believe he had an Iranian flag up. It’s concerning.”