“Kill Your Masters" Does Not Refer To Landlords, Says Nervous Killer Mike
Speaking to the public and a crowd of protestors during an impromptu press conference in downtown Atlanta, rapper and noted smart-dumb guy, Michael Render, AKA Killer Mike, clarified that "kill your masters" does not refer to landlords.
"I get that you're mad and I know a lot of you are about to be evicted but just know a lot of landlords are gonna feel really bad about kicking your asses to the curb," said Killer Mike while sweating through his trademarked "Kill Your Masters" t-shirt and nervously monitoring the crowd.
Render seemed especially nervous when protestors began rapping the lyrics to his own songs. Adding that when he told Bloods and Crips to "unite and kill the police, motherfucker," he was speaking metaphorically and absolutely not talking about all the lovely, hardworking cops he's related to.
"My dad was a cop, my cousin is a cop, the guy I called to kick a family of four out of their home, which is my property, was an off-duty cop. These are good people," Render said while shakily sipping his Crip-A-Cola.
The Run The Jewels rapper went on to add that he believes black people should not try to tear down the system that is oppressing them but instead just support more black-owned businesses like his barbershop, adding "I've got a bunch of $5 off coupons right here! Please do not loot me! My staff works hard as hell and works for tips mostly."
One protestor was later kicked out of the crowd by Render's security detail for hostilely asking the rapper, "Who the fuck are our masters then?" Killer Mike seemed a bit thrown off by this question but was able to recover his standing by listing off over 30 black-owned BBQ joints in Atlanta.
"So, if landlords are bad and harming the black community," rambled Render, clearly trying to change the subject. "Does that mean y'all are not going to the estate sale I'm hosting for this family I just evicted? They got some cool stuff. I think I saw some old OutKast records...."
The speech was suddenly cut short due to Render's fear that the activists in the crowd were taking his message the wrong way. He believed he could better express these complex views by appearing once again on NRA TV.
Before leaving, Render stopped to sign his autograph on copies of his albums and write "Not Landlords Tho :)" on fans' "Kill Your Masters" merchandise. Later that day, Render was seen heading to the studio with fellow Run The Jewels member El-P to record a song called "Explicitly Kill All Landlords And Cops, No Exceptions."
