All Asians Know Each Other
A new study found that regardless of race, religion, class, gender, sexuality, geographic location and type of Asian (bougie vs non-bougie), it appears that all Asians do, in fact, know each other.
It started when Sahil Khan discovered the connection at a party, while speaking with a stranger, Allison Wang. Midway through the conversation, both realized that they had met at a party at the University of Illinois two years ago. Upon further investigation, it also turned out that they both had the same friends, their parents knew each other, and that they also knew every Asian in the Chicagoland area.
While not technically a scientist, Khan did ask a bunch of Asian people he knows if they knew a bunch of other Asian people that he knows.
“I’d be like, ‘Hey, do you know my friend Esther?’ and everyone I asked was like, ‘Yeah, we know Esther.’ And then I’d be like, ‘What about Zahra?’ And I did that for like, god, forever. Probably at least two hours.”
“Obviously it’s still racist if a white person says it, but technically, we do all know each other in one way or another,” said Chrysanthemum Chang, an AAPI scholar. “With community centers like Kumon, we’re bound to all meet.”
The observation rings true across generations.
“Of course I know Kal Penn’s family,” said Mrs. Khan, Sahil’s mother and a first-generation immigrant. “We met him through your aunt’s coworker’s brother-in-law’s accountant. Speaking of Kal Penn, have you tried working at the White House?”
Some worry that making this revelation public could falsely imply to non-Asians that other Asian stereotypes are true. Khan was quick to quash this possibility.
“Just because we do all know each other doesn’t mean that everything is true, like the model minority myth, and it’s dangerous to say that it is,” said Khan. “My cousin is as dumb as a brick, and that doesn’t make him any less Asian.”
“It’s true,” said his cousin, Sunny Khan. “Mouthwash? I’m drinking it.” The conversation was cut short as Khan had to go hang out with his personal friend and presidential candidate, Andrew Yang.
