Op-Ed: Why I’m Amplifying The Voice Of My One Black Coworker Who Doesn’t Talk To Me

The reckoning against police brutality may have taken the back burner on our social media feeds, but I am proud to show my commitment to the movement by continuing anti-racism work. While I have not successfully dismantled my own subconscious racism (tried but got tired), I did learn a new word: amplify. 

While I started my anti-racism journey by picking up and immediately putting down The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander, at some point, I realized I needed to shift my focus to amplifying Black voices. And what better place to start than with the one Black person in my life, my coworker Sarah?

Even though the most Sarah has ever said to me in our three years of working together is a “hey” while passing me down the hallway, and has for sure never indicated wanting to have anything more to do with me, I’ve taken it upon myself to do the right thing and amplify her voice.

A few weeks ago, I dug up Sarah’s old tweets and retweeted one from 2009 where she said she “hates blueberries lol.” Since then, I’ve been putting in intense emotional labor (otherwise known as “doing the work”) into retweeting a variety of her old tweets. I do this so that we, as a community, can benefit from Sarah’s amplified voice through her direct quotes (“Team Edward baby!!!” and “seeing the jo bros tonight!!! <333). It is important for me to learn about her in her own words, because she never talks to me directly, and is only vaguely aware of my existence.

I was donating to bail funds and other social justice organizations, but I stopped because I thought, “Am I doing this because I feel guilty?” And I figured I shouldn’t be doing anything out of guilt. Instead of being bogged down by guilt, I sleep soundly at night knowing that I am amplifying Sarah’s voice by posting her work email address to Instagram, in celebration of the only way the two of us have ever communicated.

Some people would say that instead of what I’m doing right now, I should be undoing the racism deeply embedded in my own subconscious. I disagree! It feels selfish to analyze my own behavior because that puts the focus on me and not on Sarah in Accounting, who is currently reaching out to HR to handle this (ugh, her power).

If I wasn’t streaming footage from the secret nanny cam I planted in Sarah’s home on Twitch, how would I even know that about her? 

I care so much about amplifying Sarah’s voice that I’ve barely had time to enjoy my other hobbies. I mean, ask anyone—I have been severely lacking in my duties as Pete Buttigieg’s post-campaign campaign volunteer.

I will do anything to ensure Sarah’s voice is heard loud and clear in my social circles. Right now, I’m ditching my virtual book club to Facebook friend request Sarah’s APUSH teacher to see if she has any exclusive Sarah content I could include in my newsletter. 

Oh! Just got an email from Sarah asking me to “fuck off.” I’m so happy to call her my friend!