ICE Celebrates Another 'Successful' Hispanic Heritage Month By Lining Cages With Fresh Newspaper

EL PASO, TX—Hispanic Heritage Month has come and gone and employees at a local ICE detention center have reportedly concluded their celebrations by honoring the contributions of Latino Americans and lining their detainee’s cages with fresh newspaper.

While there was no announcement from ICE about agency-wide plans to recognize the histories of their mostly Hispanic and Latino detainees, several local agents in Texas are convinced that acknowledgment of these rich cultures will improve the public’s negative perception of their organization.

“Here in Texas, we’re especially fond of the culinary contributions of Hispanics. So for the rest of the month, we’ll be offering our two-legged friends as much kibble as they can eat,” said one ICE agent, as he emptied a bag of Science Diet into a bowl, slid it through a hole in a fenced enclosure, and let out a loud whistle.

ACLU attorney, Dan Stiefel, is doubtful the agency can do much to repair their image, after years of wrongfully detaining immigrants and exposing thousands to brutal and inhumane conditions of confinement.

“The public won’t suddenly be more receptive to your abuses of human rights just because you’re celebrating Hispanic culture now. And that’s especially true, if to you ‘celebration’ means now checking your agency’s human-sized glue traps more than once a week.”