Who Will Kylie Choose? Travis, Tyga, Or Me, Fucker McPudge

Trouble in Astroworld!

Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott have taken a break. And while that might not mean much in the ever tumultuous goings-ons with celebrity romances, it does mean one thing: 

I, Fucker McPudge, have a chance with Kylie. 

No I’m not a rapper or a rich famous person or cut from wood. Nor have I cleaned the backseat of my car in a year or been to a dentist ever. But I still think I can win over Kylie if given a fair chance. And why shouldn’t I get the chance! I can offer everything that those other guys can barring riches, talent, or the ability to never have Stormi want for anything. But outside of all those things, I can totally make Kylie a happy woman!

Has she met me? Technically no, but she has blocked me - so she knows I exit. 

Have I ever dated a girl before? Or anybody? No, not exactly. But that’s because nobody is up to my standards. But Kylie is. And she’s the only girl I, Fucker McPudge, would settle for.

So we’re kind of destined for each other.