Summer Heat Rash Has Me Wondering, “Am I Related To Killmonger?”

Summer 2018 is coming to a close and I’m in dire straits. Don’t get me wrong. As much as I loved my fun in the sun, my heat rash was worse than ever this year. My red, bumpy, prickly rashes were at their worst. And then, after watching Black Panther, I came to the shocking realization that I’m probably related to Killmonger. And not in the sexy way.

Every bump on Killmonger’s body represents every kill he made. And every bump on my body represents how much I wanna die. 

And the parallels don’t end there. We’re both black. Wen both go to museums. And we’re both veterans. But while he uses a suit of vibranium, I use a long sleeve Fall Out Boy shirt to cover myself (not to mention a healthy, healthy handful of hydrocortisone). 

Furthermore, Killmonger was abandoned by his parents. And when my parents saw my heat rash looking like a red Braille they quickly kicked me to the curb.

Killmonger may be a villain, and now I guess I’m one too. I just wish I knew we were family before finger banging myself to my Killmonger Fathead.