*SPONSORED POST* A Guide To Flexing By World-Renowned Fitness Instructor Gene P. Harolds
Disclaimer: This is an ad paid for by Gene P. Harolds.
Every time a kid wears fancy shoes or puts on a pair of AirPods, people say they are “flexing.” To that I say, poppycock! Where’s the core engagement? Where’s muscle tone?
Do they want to see a real flex? Then they can buy my book: “A Guide to Flexing: Strength and Body Confidence for Every Patriotic American” ($49.99).
You don’t need Yeezys to pull off a flex. You just need a solid breakfast of 3 soft-cooked eggs, a few pieces of fat-back bacon (to straighten the spine), and a gym regimen with plenty of bodyweight exercises like the push-up and the pull-up. Never heard of those? Fear not! I demonstrate proper technique in rich, black and white photography in Chapter 52.
“But Gene, I want sexually attractive people to notice me.” We all do! You think anyone is going to give you the time of day because someone wrote “Supreme” on your t-shirt? Think again, bucko.
Flex what the good lord gave you!
It’s easy, too. As I share in the “Anecdotes and Musing” section (Chapter 432), if I see an attractive group of spry 67-year-olds, I’ll immediately do a few deep knee bends to get their attention and demonstrate my vitality. Does it work? Well, I won’t go into specifics here, but let’s just say that when I sit down for dinner at 4:30 p.m., I’m not eating alone.
Ready to change your life and start flexing? Then buy a copy of my book! I accept all modern forms of payment: personal check and Western Union wire transfer. And if you write “Flexx” in the notes line of your check, I’ll send you a special guide to crushing a ripe avocado between your forearm and bicep.