Scientists Discover Additional Members Of Brockhampton
Touting it as one of the most monumental scientific discoveries of the decade, researchers at the UC Berkeley Institute of Astrophysics released a report Wednesday that identified nearly forty additional members of rap group Brockhampton.
“These findings disrupt nearly everything the scientific community thought to be true about the irreverent hip-hop collective,” said chief scientist Dr. Timothy Steadwell, adding that revised estimates of the boy band’s numbers now fell somewhere between seventeen and six hundred thousand.
The report also noted that while some new members fell under existing Brockhampton classifications such as rapper, artist, photographer, manager, bus driver, web designer, assistant manager, heartthrob, accountant, and caterer, others could be categorized into newer, more tangential positions.
“The research really raises more questions than it answers,” said Steadwell. “Are these hitherto unknown members musicians? The band’s seventh or eighth t-shirt designer? Wet nurses? Gubernatorial candidates? Or are they something different entirely?”
“It wasn’t until just last year consensus was reached on whether Bearface was in the band, or just a guy that hung around a lot, and there remains several competing schools of thought on whether Joba exists at all.”
At press time, scientists hypothesized that the uncovering of even more members could render the boy band’s core unstable, resulting in a textbook Odd Futurian collapse.