Racism Sucks: Eminem Has The Tightest Rhyme Ever But We Won’t Ever Hear It Because It Rhymes With The N-Word

Racism Sucks: Eminem Has The Tightest Rhyme Ever But We Won’t Ever Hear It Because It Rhymes With The N-Word

Last week, one of the staffers at FLEXX Mag was granted the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to sit down with rap god, Eminem. The following is an excerpt from that interview:


FLEXX: So, Eminem. I would be remiss if I didn’t ask you this question while I have you.

Eminem: Go ahead.

F: So, you’re white.

E: Yes.

F: And you’re a rapper.

E: Right.

F: How have you never once used the N-word?

E: [Laughs] That’s a good question. I think it’s really just a respect thing. Hip Hop was created by black people. I’m just a visitor. When two black people use the word, there’s a different context then if I use it. The historical context of me using the word is inherently evil.

F: Wow, respect. So you’re telling me you’ve never even once thought of a rhyme that had the word?

E: Oh no. I have. The thoughts happen accidentally, ya know?

F: Oh, so you’ve just chosen to never put it in a song?

E: Exactly, out of respect.

F: I see. So was this a one time occurrence or-

E: Oh no. It’s happened several thousand times.

F: Excuse me?

E: I’ve written over eleven thousand bars that utilize the N-word.

F: Really?

E: Yeah, I just really love language, and wordplay, etc.

F: So, are these rhymes all in your head?

E: No, of course not. I wrote them all down in hundreds of composition books over the years.

F: If you had to ballpark, how many compositions books?

E: 576

F: Jesus.

E: And counting.

F: Christ.

E: Yeah, I’m quite prolific.

F: Where are the composition books?

E: Well, I have them all in a vault that I visit once a year. I pay 3 men to stand outside and defend it at all times.

F: Where is the vault?

E: [Laughs] Sorry, I can’t tell you that.

F: So are these composition books filled with just random rhymes or-

E: No. I have about 5 cohesive albums. One of them is a concept album where I imagine what life would be like if I were a black male. One if I were a black women. One if I were Tiger Woods. And the others are just typical me stuff, hating my mom, beating women, you know. I must say, it's some of my most political and incisive work to date. Too bad it'll never see the light of day.

F: Why not?

E: White people can’t say the N-word, period. End of discussion

F: Wow. You really are passionate about this.

E: African-Americans in this country have gone through so much. I want to do anything I can to help alleviate that pain.

F: So, how do you feel now looking back at your lyrics about women?

E: I stand by every single word. Fuck all women.

E's PUBLICIST: This interview is over.

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