Op-Ed: I Love My Neighborhood Mosque, But Can They Change The Call To Prayer To A Group Chat Or Something?
Before I get into it, let me say that I support my Muslim neighbors and respect their right to exercise their religious beliefs. Having said that, it’s 2019 and maybe they could just text the call to prayer?
I know, I know. The call to prayer is an important part of being Muslim. It allows the mosque to directly communicate with worshipers and lets them know when it’s time to pray. And it probably made a lot of sense (before unlimited texts were a thing) to make the call to prayer loud enough for all to hear.
But things are a little different now. What if, maybe, there was a group text labeled “Mosque Chat” or “Prayer Time”? And 5 times a day the group sent a text that said, “Hey everyone! It’s almost time to pray! Please make your way to the mosque!” They could use the prayer-hand emoji, or maybe even their personalized bitmojis if they wanted to! I have tons of group chats. One for the brunch squad, one for the hot yoga squad, and one for the Alamo Drafthouse squad. I’m happy to help them figure it out.
Is this offensive? I certainly don’t mean it to be! It’s just that sometimes I’m trying to listen to NPR and drink my small-batch coffee in peace and the call to prayer happens. It startles me a little and means I have to turn up NPR and close my window. And you can’t listen to NPR above a whisper, it’s not designed that way.
Anyway, this is just a suggestion! Obviously, Muslims should feel free to do whatever makes them most comfortable. If texting is too impersonal, they could consider Slack. I’m also happy to help if need be! But just let me know, I may be busy signing people up for my newsletter without their consent and blasting out invites to my comedy shows.
Also, yes: I am new to this neighborhood! Does anyone know of a grocery store where I can buy a $41 jug of unflavored oat milk?