Op Ed: I Love Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Fine Ass… Policies

Op Ed: I Love Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Fine Ass… Policies

Do you remember where you were when 28-year-old Bronx native Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez defeated incumbent Joseph Crowley in New York City’s Congressional Primary Elections? I do. I was at a bar with my homies and we all were hyped about this sign of the changing times. Finally, we’re going to be represented by a woman of color with a fine ass… political agenda.

Now, some may be put off by Ocasio-Cortez’s association with the Democratic Socialists of America, but honestly? I took one look at her bangin'… website, and I was sold. And fully aroused.

That single-payer healthcare system? Sexy as hell, mami. Accessible housing as a human right? Stop teasin’ me. Abolish ICE and protect the rights of immigrants? Unnf.

If I ever saw Ocasio-Cortez in public, I’d be like, “congrats,” and also, “can I get your number, ma? Because I need to call my representative and you’re it.” This woman really knows how to turn me on… to becoming more politically involved in local New York City elections.

Not only could she possibly be one of the youngest people ever voted to Congress, but Ocasio-Cortez’s voluptuous Puerto Rican... heritage means that she can give a voice to minorities in the House of Representatives. And damn, that ass… pect of her campaign is bad as hell.

I can’t wait to see Ocasio-Cortez’s face all over the news in the upcoming years. I am mesmerized every time her mouth moves… to discuss reproductive rights and equal pay for women.

Oh, her looks? She cute, I guess. Didn’t really notice. Please excuse me while I go bust a nut.

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Jordan Perez

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