No One On Commercial Set Has The Heart To Tell Common He Doesn’t Need To Narrate Between Takes
Exchanging confused glances, crew members working an ESPN commercial on Monday reportedly didn’t have the heart to tell Common that he does not need to narrate between takes.
“Oh shit, he’s not stopping,” said production assistant Aaron Turner, who listened on as the Oscar-winner compared Kevin Durant to a sycamore tree growing in an “ever-changing urban forest.” “None of this stuff is even in the script. He keeps talking about how we’re all connected and it’s weirding everyone out. I want to say something, but I’m pretty low on the totem pole here.”
“Maybe he didn’t hear the director yell ‘cut?’ I could approach him, but I don’t want to be that guy. I’m sure he’ll snap out of it eventually,” said key grip David Pauchek, who privately complained to director Trevor Gates.
“I shot an IBM commercial with him a few months ago and I think this just might be his process. Once those cameras start rolling, he starts this stream-of-consciousness lecture—relating computer chips to street corners in Chicago; likening NBA free agency to the binding of Isaac. I’m not going to lie—it does cause some tension on set, but whatever works,” said Gates, who was tirelessly editing Common’s twelve-hour monologue to fit the commercial’s 30-second time limit.
When asked for comment from Common, Flexx reporters accidentally zoned out.