Mr. Wu Becomes First Asian Dad To Walk Out Of Restaurant And Not Take A Free Toothpick
Last Friday, it was one small step for Asian dads, one giant leap for Asian dadkind.
Historically, all Asian dads exit restaurants with a free toothpick. But when Frank Wu left a Golden Buffet in downtown Chicago without picking up a toothpick last Friday night, he became the first Asian dad in history to ever accomplish such a feat.
“I thought my dad suddenly went blind for a second,” said Gary Wu, son of Frank, via phone interview. “In my 33 years of life, I’ve never seen him leave a restaurant without reaching for an individually wrapped toothpick.”
“This was a total ‘whoa’, like, what would Buddha say?” relayed Darren Smith, a Golden Buffet busboy and local white-guy-with-Yellow-Fever, as he bussed tables with a visible half-chub.
Lillith Wu, wife of Frank, sighed when reached for comment: “He was probably drunk off one Heineken.”
Although Golden Buffet has not released an official statement, Frank Wu told us he has received several loose, free coupons from Golden Buffet’s CEO for the good press. Mr. Wu humbly revealed to us that he had mixed feelings on the effects of his bold actions. He briefly stated, “I already picked up a toothpick when I walked in. Why would I grab another? Such a waste.”