Mansplain Much? This Choking Man Keeps Trying To Tell Woman What To Do

Mansplain Much? This Choking Man Keeps Trying To Tell Woman What To Do

Wow, you hate to see it: this choking, red-faced man is trying to tell a woman what to do.

Like, what don’t you get, boomer? That this woman, who you don’t even know, doesn’t need you to guide her every decision by your wordless clutching at your throat while you keep making a painful, rasping nose in your throat?

We all get it! You’re a man and your wonderful little Y chromosome means you get to tell everyone around you what to do! But get this, buddy: those days are over. And just because you think you have a God-given right to stand up from the table you were sitting at, shoveling down a chewy T-bone steak and a tough, stringy broccoli rabe salad, and stagger over to the nearest woman to demand obedience from her…you don’t, motherfucker. Not on our watch.

It’s nearly 2021, asshole, not 1954. You don’t tell other people what to do, and you definitely don’t try telling a woman what to do by balling your fist, positioning it slightly above your navel, and miming sharp, short thrusts into your abdomen. Educate yourself!

Time to tell some truth: you’ve lived your entire life thinking you’re entitled to tell women what to do. Did you ever think the woman you’re slowly collapsing to your knees in front of, while your smug face turns a deep shade of mauve, might already know exactly what to do? Maybe she’s not doing it because she gets to decide what the fuck she does.

Yeah, we can tell that that never even crosses your mind by the way you’ve slumped to the floor and stopped moving. Just don’t even try to tell her to “smile more!”

Asshole. I hope you choke.

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