Latina Definitely Doesn’t Have White Privilege Even Though Her Foundation Shade Is “Gentlest Ivory”

Desperately trying to color match foundation to her middle-of-a-creamsicle neck in the makeup aisle of a Target in Houston, 25-year-old Mary Chavez continually assured herself that she does not possess white privilege.

Passersby allegedly heard her muttering to herself: “I am a strong, third generation Latina woman. I can cook the good shit—my propensity for sunburns does not define me!”

After finally settling on a shade of foundation labeled “The Gentlest Ivory” (without being followed by Target associates), Chavez was then seen shopping for a Goya-brand DVD player.

The Neutrogena website asserts that their Gentlest Ivory foundation, featuring SPF 100, is specifically formulated for “women of fairness” who are designated as “high risk” for skin cancer by their dermatologists. When confronted with this fact, Ms. Chavez called her abuela on speaker.

“Why do proud Latinas like me and Srta. Alexis Bledel have to deal with this? The bitches from Roma have it so easy!” shouted Chavez.