Just Like Home! New 'Animal Crossing' Update Introduces Deportations
The latest update to Nintendo's international sensation Animal Crossing introduces mandatory deportations as part of its America-DLC summer addition.
The cutesy slice-of-life game, noted for its use of real-life limitations—like limited store hours, or taking an entire day to move into a new home—is attempting to sprinkle in even more realism for its American fanbase. The update will include a byzantine visa system for "suspicious" campsite visitors, aggressive checkpoint pat-downs modeled after the TSA, and racially-charged harassment from a polka-dot poodle named Patty, a new character that will be introduced as a local ICE agent with a record of domestic abuse.
"Unfortunately, American players feel that the gameplay does not fully echo the experience of living in America," said Katsuya Eguchi, Nintendo's lead game designer for Animal Crossing. "Our aim has always been to mimic real life with cute animals on a colorful fantasy island, so we decided to incorporate forced deportations and children in cages at each island's border."
Many fans in the states were excited for the addition, especially in places like Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico.
“Like, imagine if Isabelle suddenly got deported because her name didn’t exactly match her visa? Wouldn’t that just add to the reality of the game?” said online user RaymondFucker. “Or, what if Tom Nook had to choose between Timmy or Tommy to stay on the island? I’m getting shivers over here in anticipation.”
Other players are excited about increased gameplay functionality, like the ability to ask villagers for their papers at a moment's notice and increasing surveillance on their island with armed guard towers, large fences, and secret cartel tunnels to Mexico.
The update also introduces a new tiered system for downgrading the social value for certain species like the koalas and the kangaroos. Of course, some species, like the eagles, will be exempt.
However, not all responses have been positive.
"I've been stuck in a holding cell for three months," said a 12-year-old player who got early access to trial the update but did not want their name to be disclosed. "The guards are spitting on me and they created parents for my character that I'm not allowed to see or speak to. I just wanted to catch bugs, man. This sucks."
Based on the early success of the update, Nintendo designers are already hard at work on a domestic terrorism DLC that should unroll this fall.