I'm Proud My Gated Country Club Community Is In Such A Diverse City

Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you: I am always talking about how important diversity is to me. That’s why I’ve chosen to raise my children in Oakwood Acres Community Country Club and send them to private schools in one of the most diverse cities in the U.S. 

Oh wow, you’re from Seattle? Honestly, your city is so white compared to mine.

My children are growing up understanding that not everyone looks like them and that skin color does not measure a person’s worth. What does measure a person’s worth, of course, is where they went to college, how many European countries they’ve visited, and their grammar.

I voted for Obama. Twice.

Yes, actually, there are children of color at my kids’ private school. Of course, the statistics are open to interpretation. Our city is about 65% BIPOC ("Black, Indigenous, People of color" since you probably don’t know) and our school is about 0.01% BIPOC. That's a big increase from last year. So, you do the math! The way I choose to interpret the data is that our school community is not quite as diverse as the rest of the city, but we’re getting there. We have a half-Asian now! (Welcome, Xin!)

Why not send my kids to public school? Hahahahaha oh wow, I can tell you have no experience with diversity. The public schools in this city are awful. They are so under-funded and they don’t even offer an ivy league track. So, I pay the equivalent of the average person’s annual paycheck in tuition to send all three of my shitty kids to private school. Clearly, that makes way more sense than giving a cent to our public schools or spending even an ounce of energy trying to improve them for the sake of other, browner children. 

I read every book on Oprah’s list and I would trust her with my life.

I don’t know why you keep bringing up our gated community. Am I not allowed to prioritize the safety of my family? The reality is, and you wouldn’t know this because your city is so much less diverse than mine, but living in such a diverse city is not without its challenges. Yes, diversity is important, but not at the expense of safety. What I want my kids to learn is that they can live in a 6000-square-foot house overlooking our country club golf course, literally looking down on the rest of the people in the city, without sacrificing their commitment to equality or their gate security guard (Love you, Roy!). They can be allies without having to live near or go to school with or form equitable relationships with any actual Black or brown people.

I saw “Get Out” in the theater. Twice. Because I didn’t get it the first time. Or the second time. Going to stream it again tonight.

No, our country club isn’t racist! Do you think I, a person who cares so much about diversity, would join a racist country club? Our country club is open to all, as long as they follow the dress code, which obviously includes hairstyles. No ‘fros or cornrows, of course.

Next time you come to visit, we’ll go for dinner at the club and I’ll introduce you to Jesús, who works in the kitchen and makes the best lobster tacos. He is from Mexico. Ever heard of it? Then, I’ll introduce you to Mona, who is Black (ever heard of it?) and is a very good server. And quite articulate.

Members of color? Well, we do have a white family who is originally from Detroit, which counts big time in my book. And honestly, the reason we don’t have more members of color is that the club only ended its “No one darker than an arctic fox” policy in 2002. By then, the list to join was already backed up for about 15 years, so we should have some members of color by 2050-ish. Legacy residents get prioritized, though.

Besides, most people of color just aren’t as into golf, tennis, swimming, sun-bathing, eating delicious food, being part of a community, or being treated with respect and dignity, as white people are. It’s just a cultural thing you wouldn’t understand.

I’m pretty sure I know who Lizzo is.

Anyway, let me know if you ever want any advice about living in a diverse city, or raising your kids to be allies, or if you want to hear some out-of-context MLK Jr. quotes. 

Sorry, I hope that answers your question about whether I want butter on my popcorn. If it wasn’t clear, the answer is yes. I'm certainly not going to wear a mask, but I’m so excited you’re re-running my favorite movie, Green Book.