HOW FLEXX VOTED: No Whites, No Vaping, And Other Issues On The Ballot

HOW FLEXX VOTED: No Whites, No Vaping, And Other Issues On The Ballot

It’s ELECTION DAY, ladies and gentleman. And if you’re standing at the booth knees weak, arms heavy - here’s a helpful guide to how your helpful Flexx Staff voted:


  • Anyone but tha whites. Right off the hip you gotta understand that you cannot vote any mayo faces in. I don’t care if they act like they like you, they probably don’t bang with you that way.

  • Vote to make Vaping indoors a punishable crime. But gaping in doors? Hahhhh, *nyerrrm!*

  • Complex should only have two white writers and they should be copywriters. 

  • Nominate a chopped cheese to be the state bird of New York.

  • Comedy theaters should have discounted ticket prices for People of Color. I don’t wanna get in the weeds about why this is the way, but this is the way.

  • Stop doing televised live musicals. They’re always booty. 

  • Take American Horror Story off the air. I’m sorry, but c’mon. 

  • Crossing guards don’t really do anything. I mean, I want them around but they don’t really do anything. Just thinking aloud here. 

  • Bring back Goatse.

  • It should be illegal to not text someone back. Idk if that’s unconstitutional.. All I am saying is Gina take me back man damn. 


And that’s as far down the ballot we got before we got light headed from hot boxing in our beat up Kia Sorento. GO VOTE!!!

If You're Reading This It's Already Too Late To Register To Vote, Stupid

If You're Reading This It's Already Too Late To Register To Vote, Stupid

Hollywood Proud To Promote More Diverse Voices They Can Hush Into Submission

Hollywood Proud To Promote More Diverse Voices They Can Hush Into Submission