Hollywood Proud To Promote More Diverse Voices They Can Hush Into Submission
Now That’s What I Call Diversity 40!
Taking further steps to combat the systemic lack of diversity in Hollywood backrooms, executives at Fox and Warner Brothers have joined together to insist upon hiring at least 20% more diverse candidates to ignore.
The move, which has been greatly praised by the media, is designed to ensure that a breadth of perspectives have their voice represented in Hollywood, and so that white executives can cosplay as woke while clotheslining brown people off their bikes.
“One time, I asked whether a meeting was catered,” said Luis Gonzalez, who is a junior executive at New Line Cinemas. “In response, they Cask of Amontillado’d me into my own home. They bricked up the front door. I was shook.”
“It’s very important to us to bring a range of voices into the room,” said 20th Century Fox CEO Stacey Snider, “as that’s the only true reflection of America today. By hiring more diverse people, we increase the number of ideas we’ll never listen to. And we also get the fucking Twitter kids off our dicks.”
One major success of this initiative is The Shape Of Water. It was originally the tale of a black man and white woman falling in love during the Cold War, but was amended to include a Fish Man instead.”