Gentrification Is Real: Local Glory Hole Now An IG Hot Spot
A local bathroom at the corner of Utica Ave and St. John’s in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, has now fallen to the feet of gentrification. As a new community rides into town, prices go up, and people are displaced. Additionally, local landmarks and community hubs shift. And in the latest case, it’s the neighborhood glory hole.
The bathroom is located in the back of “Jerk Me Down," a popular Jerk Chicken Hut, and has been home to a popular glory hole for almost a decade now.
“It was just the right width,” says Jerk Hut owner Antoine Hurley, “I mean, you could really get a lot in there and still not see the other side. No draft or nothing.”
But where have the good times gone? While other local stores and spots were changing—new cafes, Citi bikes, a tapas joint where a Rainbow once was—people had a lot of faith in the glory hole being the last remaining bastion of the old times.
However, things have gone south. Last Tuesday, patrons of the glory hole were shocked to find that, where hitherto they could stuff their meat into the mouth of a stranger in privacy, now the glory hole is a popular destination for IG models.
“Yeah, but the hole’s still there,” says Dominick Steever, the most loyal of patrons to the G.H.
But some claim that’s not the point. Patrons are finding it impossible to properly bust their crust when they can hear the Twitter chirps and Insta-stories of phones not a yard away.
“What am I supposed to do?” asked Clarice Starburn, a 22-year-old rising IG model. “I’m tired of taking sunny pictures on the high line. The right selfie with this hole can put me on the map, but the pictures keep getting taken down. Because of the dicks and stuff."
Still, some are trying to use the glory hole as the old days intended.
“Yeah, I check in pretty regularly,” says 25-year-old Dustin Smorelly. “My girlfriend hates it. But the only way to make good on gentrification is to actually try to join the community. I get my dick sucked probably three or four times a week. For the community.”
“Yeah, I suck his dick about four times a week,” says Dominick Steever. “He’s not a bad guy. He’s writing a screenplay for an Air Bud reboot.”
Whether you’re on the side of the hot spot or against it, one thing’s clear: the community is rapidly changing. Some are trying to make the best of the rising prices and changing culture. Some are mourning a loss. Is the change for the best? Or does something wicked this way come?