Four Quarters Not Enough For Ben Simmons To Score In Basketball Arcade Game

Four Quarters Not Enough For Ben Simmons To Score In Basketball Arcade Game

Despite a valiant effort fueled by tremendous athleticism and top-notch basketball IQ, four quarters was simply not enough for Sixers rookie sensation Ben Simmons to score a single point during his turn at the Dollar Shot Hoops game at Exton Arcade. 

“The game costs just one dollar, and [Simmons] put four solid quarters in, but he just couldn’t convert” said arcade assistant shift manager Nolan Russell. “He gave it his all, but at the end of the day these were arcade-regulation-sized basketballs being shot at a distance of at least four feet. Some guys just can’t drain ‘em in the big leagues.”

“It was rough to watch him put up a goose egg, especially after he gave it 100% and left it all out on the little tarp the balls roll back on” said arcade enthusiast Daniel Strathy, noting that Simmons had previously performed well at the skee ball lane, pinball machine, and NBA regular season.

To make matters worse, Simmons had no quarters left for another play, and instead had to watch from the sidelines as Jazz rookie Donovan Mitchell put up 37 points, clinching himself the arcade high score and enough tickets for a wacky pencil eraser. 

At press time, dorky teen sources reported that they had seen a frustrated Simmons crush up his arcade tickets in anger, storm over to a trash can, and stick his entire arm in, gingerly placing the crumpled wad at the bottom of the bin.

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