Embarrassing! This Desi Couple Only Rented Four Elephants For Their Wedding
Mira Shah, 28, and Jagdish Patel, 29, found themselves embroiled in a humiliating mess this past weekend, when they only rented four elephants for their wedding.
“Four felt like enough to get the point across,” said Shah. “We only really need them for like, one or two photo ops.”
The wedding took place at a Chicago suburbs Marriott, which accommodated the request for elephants. The hotel’s front desk receptionist Marcia Sharon expressed that four elephants was “already too many elephants for a Marriott” and that they would be “shitting everywhere.” The event included 6,000 guests, an open bar, a cake room, free iPads, and a DJ set by Lady Gaga. Still, the lack of elephants was jarring to some attendees.
“It’s so embarrassing! Only four elephants? I came to a wedding, not a one-year-old’s birthday party. Also, is anyone’s son looking to get married? My daughter is a ‘lesbian,’ but she’s very nice,” said Sharmila Aunty, before dashing away to yell acne removal tips she found on WhatsApp to a bridesmaid who didn’t ask for them.
The bride and groom’s parents had insisted on more elephants for the couple, but they refused.
“We didn’t immigrate here for our children to disrespect us like this,” cried Shah’s father, while feeding money into a paper shredder. “Now everyone will think we are broke losers.”
“We tried to get our son to understand that our reputation was at stake here,” said Patel’s mother, drying her tears on her sari. “But he kept staring into space and whispering, ‘this wedding costs more than getting my Ph.D.,’ and ignored us.”
The couple feels regret for the pain they’ve caused their families. “We were wrong to get only four elephants. I wish we had gotten enough elephants to trample every aunty who’s complained about the biryani,” Shah nodded solemnly.