Elderly Woman Can't Decide Which Half Of Cholo Goth Culture Makes Her More Nervous
Elderly woman Emma Chalmers found herself terrified and confused Sunday when she saw several Cholo Goths purchasing Monster Energy and chapstick as she was shopping at her local Walgreens.
“I’ve never seen anything like it. I was waiting for my prescriptions when these kids came in dressed like a bunch of Mexican ghosts,” said Chalmers holding a rosary close to her chest like Peter Cushing in a Hammer horror film. “I don’t know what I was more afraid of — their leather vests or their chained black pants.”
Chalmers began to follow the youths around the store hoping to catch them doing something illegal or immoral like shoplifting or grave robbing, but was disappointed to find that they were more than happy to grab their snacks, pay politely, and exit the store. “I mean, aren’t they terrifying enough?” Chalmers asked a checker at the cash-register who became instantly uncomfortable, unclear as to whether or not the elderly white woman was referring to the goth or cholo subculture.
Chalmers would later go home, delighting in the fact that TCM would be hosting a screening of Universal’s Dracula, before discovering that it would be the Spanish language version widely considered to be superior. Chalmers subsequently called the police to arrest her TV.