Damn! This Asian Is Crazy, But Broke As Hell
Heartbreaking news to come out of El Monte, CA this week upon the release of Crazy Rich Asians—it’s been reported that local 29 year old woman Esther Yang is crazy, but broke as hell.
Yang has reportedly catfished her own cousin, fought her childhood babysitter, and thrown away perfectly good reusable containers at her mom’s house. While these are all certifiably insane things to do, Yang is so broke that her friends are essentially forming a Venmo Mafia to get her to complete her charges.
Flexx reporters tried to speak with Yang’s therapist to confirm her mental instability, but Dr. Susan Toledo only responded, “I cannot comment on Esther’s mental health but she hasn’t paid me for the last four appointments, so she is definitely broke.”
With the upcoming release of Crazy Rich Asians, Yang’s craziness has continued escalating, as has her brokeness. “This bitch is crazy as hell,” said neighbor Pauline Chen. “Yesterday, I saw her punch a hole in the wall of a Jack in the Box because they were out of curly fries. She couldn’t even pay for them, though.”
“It’s pretty shocking. I’ve seen a crazy rich Asian, a crazy middle class Asian, a crazy upper middle class Asian, but never a crazy one this broke. What is her degree and where is her tiger mom?” asked a judgmental mother of the local PTA.
"I don’t know where I went wrong in life. I tried to be an import model to pay the bills, but they said I looked like too much like Mao Zedong. I guess I’ll never have a steady yearly income,” Yang said when reached for comment. “Can I borrow $20? I’m starting a pyramid scheme.”