Damn, She's Really Making Owning A Chinchilla Her Whole Thing

I mean damn. I mean c’mon. Angela is making owning a chinchilla really her whole thing. Like that’s all she’s about right now. 

“Did you know they take dust baths?” Angela asks emphatically to the guests at her party, completely unaware that the room smells like ass - or maybe just ignoring it - or maybe friggin into it. “And they live for ten years. So I can’t wait to have Sanjaya with me for a long time.”

When the news broke out that Angela was getting a chinchilla some friends were not that surprised. 

“It was only time,” says friend Barry Highmore. “I think we all saw it coming. Her favorite movie is Amelie.” 

“It’s just a bummer,” adds Sarah Clay, “Her apartment was the spot. Equidistant from everyone. Dope layout. But now she’s just gonna make us look at Sanjaya all night. I mean, she knows that’s a full ass rat, right?” 

Angela has made her chinchilla the lockscreen on her phone, the avi of her Twitter, and has been telling everyone chinchilla facts as though they were common knowledge. 

“They really do have the softest fur. You can’t feel his though, he’s sleeping right now. That’s rude,” Angela remarked upon questioning. 

Recently, she was reported showing full videos of Sanjaya on her phone. 

“I was eating and she just started laughing at her phone and then held it to my face for like three minutes,” recalls Highmore. 

“I watch this like every day,” she continued.

Flexx has just received word that Sanjaya’s dead.