Black Guy Says “Hell Nah” To Camping Trip On Site Of Mass Grave Of Witches

When asked if he wanted to join his circle of friends on a camping trip to Blood Shallows, Jason Howard, the only black student invited on the excursion, reportedly replied “Hell nah,” much to the confusion to the rest of the group. “Everyone knows Blood Shallows is haunted as fuck! Bro, it’s called Blood Shallows.”

When asked why he responded so defiantly to the invitation, Howard answered, “They ain’t even my friends. I think Brittany borrowed a pencil from me once in Spanish Class,” as he stared at the group of Caucasian students who seemed to be laughing as if they’d live forever.

Known for its picturesque mountain view and its isolation from anything resembling law enforcement or a hospital, Blood Shallows is a popular party destination for local teens who hate being alive. It’s also the final resting place of a mass grave of witches executed in the 1600s.

“I ain’t going up to some ‘witch lake’ with a bunch of white people I barely know,” said Howard, shaking his head at Tiffany Hawkins, who was unaware that she’d soon be possessed by a demonic spirit and forced to eat her friends to satisfy an ancient blood curse. “Stupid white people…”

Undeterred, the group continued to press Howard to join them on their trip exclaiming that, “This was their last blast before they went off to college.” Howard answered the bubbly invitation, wide-eyed, saying, “Fuck. NO. Even if Blood Shallows wasn’t the site of some witch massacre shit, I don’t know what you people get up to.”

Howard reportedly told the group of unwitting teens to “watch your asses,” before joining a group of fellow black students at a house party where he will make out with Jessica Temple, instead of being flayed alive in a cabin by Hecate, Queen of Toads.