A Second Eight? Jay-Z Buys Rights To The Number Four, Sells It For Double Its Worth

BROOKLYN, NY—Just weeks after selling Tidal for a reported $350 million, rap-icon-turned-billionaire Sean Carter, known to most as Jay-Z, has recently finalized his most baller business deal yet. In an unprecedented move, the business… man purchased the rights to his favorite single-digit number: 4. 

“Men lie. Women lie. Numbers don't. That's why we buyin' them,” shared Hov as he sat on a $2-billion yacht explaining his most recent business venture. 

“Sports teams, liquor, streaming platforms, Bitcoin.. that’s the old hustle,” said Carter. “We onto numbers now, B.” 

But what does this mean for people who frequently use the number 4 in schools, birthday parties, or when counting the members of a '90s R'n'B group? 

“Well as long as he is still the owner of the number, every time a child turns 4 and has a birthday party, Mr. Carter receives a royalty check," said Jay-Z’s copyright lawyer, Creflo Rothenburg. "Every time a person recites Abraham Lincoln’s famous Gettysburg Address, that’s money in his account. Yesterday, Sesame Street messed around and dropped an episode that they claimed to be brought to you by the number 4, but no one cleared that with Mr. Carter, so they had to pay up!” 

Just as we began getting into the details of owning the rights to intangible concepts, the Roc Nation mogul paused the interview to check his phone and briefly convened with his lawyer.

“I just sold it,” Carter nonchalantly expressed. “Numbers was dope, but we off that now.”

We asked the pair the reasoning behind the sudden move to sell off such a fresh and valuable asset.

“We just got wind that Chance the Rapper is part of an investment group that’s aiming to purchase the number 3, so we decided to move on from the numbers business,” Rothenburg frustratingly explained. "If Chance does it, it's probably wack now."

“I just sold it to Kanye for twice its original value. He thinks it’s 8 now. I knew he would bite,” shared Jay, followed by his signature laugh. “He called it the most important purchase of all time and started calling himself the Jeff Bezos of rap. It’s too easy!”

Now that he’s moved past numbers, what’s next for Jay-Z?

“Oh, we onto positive emotions and good vibes now,” continued Carter. “I mean, I literally just trademarked my giggle, bought the rights to the word ‘vibes’, and sold 30% to Blue Ivy. That’s another B!”