80% Of Valentine’s Day Gifts Still On Their Way This Holiday Season
A new report commissioned by Amazon has revealed that approximately 80% of Valentine’s Day gifts this year are “still on their way” and “will be arriving in the next couple days.” This should be good news for couples across the country, who can now rest easy in the knowledge that no one forgot anything and it’s just a little late I swear I didn’t forget.
The report, which surveyed a sample of 2000 male respondents from across the country, found that an astonishing majority of the packages were “lost in transit,” “got shipped to my work address,” or “sent to a different Milo Stephens who lives in Cobble Hill I swear to God.”
While the other 20% of packages arrived right on time with absolutely no delays or unforeseen issues, a freak series of happenings caused the other gifts, all thoughtful and exactly what the other wanted, to disappear in the worst Amazon disaster since February 2017. So I’m not alone, right? You see? I’m not crazy.
Not for nothing, I am a little surprised it’s late, but I guess that’s my fault for ordering a physical Amazon gift card and not just a digital one.