7 Dogs Named After Black Artists, Ranked By The Unbearable Whiteness Of Their Owners
Dog: DMX, Alaskan Husky
Owner: Scott Adams Collins, Democratic Socialist
Scott is happy to talk your ear off about why Martin Luther King would be a member of the DSA but is suddenly busy during at all the Black Lives Matter marches.
Dog: Queen Bey, Akita
Owner: Heather Casbeer, Urban Farmer
Heather would give her kidney to help Beyoncé, but wouldn't lift a finger to help literally any other black woman.
Dog: Drizzy, Shiba Inu
Owner: Lisa Broder, Climbs rocks for “fun”
Lisa never fails mention how “Drake is the only black guy” she would ever date.
Dog: Migos, Pitbull-Lab Mix
Owner: Emma Owens, Vassar College Graduate
Emma likes the song “Bad and Boujee” but has not made eye contact with a black person in 14 months.
Dog: Nicki Minaj, Basset Hound
Owner: Meredith "Meri" Filder, Bike Shop Owner
To her credit, Meri can recite the words to all of Nicki Minaj's catalogue. Unfortunately, she also uses the n-word while singing along.
Dog: Common, Pug
Owner: Kaitlyn Snodgrass, Vegan-Cupcake Shop Owner
Kaitlyn she loves the movie “Friday” but calls the cops on the “threatening-looking” black men on her stoop.
Dog: J.Cole, Schnauzer
Owner: Garreth Lorimer, Political Science/Business Double Major
Garreth is in everyone’s mentions about J.Cole went Double Platinum with no features, but voted for Trump because he couldn’t sus out Bengazi.