White Nationalist Condemns Immigrants Through Mouthful Of Al Pastor

Local ice cream truck driver and outspoken white nationalist Thomas Manfredi said “America is a proud, white-majority nation that is under invasion from illegal aliens” while chewing a big, juicy mouthful of tacos al pastor.

Manfredi, with spit-roasted Mexican pork dribbling through his jawline acne, went on to say “Japan is full of Japanese people. Africa is full of African-Americans. But if I want my white country to stay white and not Mexican, suddenly I’m a racist, bigot, and so on. Mexicans just don’t belong in San Juan Capistrano!”

As he washed down the succulent, shawarma-esque al pastor (a hybrid dish resulting from Lebanese immigration to Mexico) with a generous glug of horchata, Manfredi grew wistful. “There was a time when ‘American culture’ meant white culture. No mixing and matching, no melting pot. White people with shared white values raising their white families free from non-white influence.” His Italian eyes welled up with Italian tears, even though Italian people weren’t considered white until the 1950s.

“Everyone I know will tell you I’m not racist. My girlfriend is half-Asian, I don’t say n****r, and I think Tokyo Drift was the best Fast & The Furious film. But only the Alabama parts,” he explained. “But if these people want to express their own culture, they should get off their ass and fix their countries instead of becoming someone else’s problem. Thanks, Mom.” He took the napkin his mom offered and wiped it across his face once, missing several splotches of Tía Daniela’s secret marinade.

“Diversity is code for white genocide,” he concluded, farting achiote.