Op-Ed: Where Is The Anthem For All The Ladies Who Actually Do Want A Scrub?

ATLANTA, GA—Ladies, we’ve all been there. A song comes on the radio and it just connects with your soul in a way you didn’t know was possible. You hear the poetry in someone else’s words and it expresses the thoughts you always wanted to shout out loud. This is your anthem. This is the song that speaks for you.

So where the fuck is the anthem for ladies who do want a scrub?

It’s a travesty that all the women out there desperately in search of a guy who mistakenly thinks he’s fly—colloquially as a "busta"—don’t have a single song that illustrates their lives. We know you may not feel the way we feel. You may never understand the appeal of a man who has a shorty to who he does not show love to. But does that mean that we'll never get a song that makes us pump up the volume when it comes on the radio and sing along with all our girlfriends (who also are really into dudes who don’t have a car and must walk places)?

Seriously, I really do find it attractive when they hang out the passenger side of their best friend's ride and try to holler at me. It’s even sexier that they don't successfully holler. That’s part of it for me. It's a whole thing. 

Are you telling me there’s not a single songwriter out there who doesn’t want to get with a deadbeat ass?

You may not understand the appeal that even though you look like class, a man looking like trash is just exactly the thing you’re looking for. You may not get how a man who can’t detect acquisition from his friend’s Expedition is the same man who can get my number and whose number I also want. 

But you can understand how unfair it is that there is no song that truly expresses the feeling that countless ladies out there have, that somewhere, there’s a scrub out there for them, sitting on his broke ass. 

Mmm. Yeah. Hot.