Ambitious Tech Entrepreneur Drops Out Of Stanford Before Being Admitted
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Aspiring young tech entrepreneur Chase Rutherford, 17, has announced that he is dropping out of Stanford University to pursue a career as head of a Silicon Valley startup, much to the confusion of his close acquaintances. Rutherford, a senior at Lowell High School in San Francisco, California, had only completed his application to the prestigious school the day before this decision, and will not have any knowledge of his admission status for several months.
“I think the time is right to do something courageous, something daring,” Rutherford said. “No one ever got ahead in life by being indecisive. It worked for Steve Jobs. It worked for Bill Gates. So, there’s no reason why it can’t work for me either.”
“This isn’t going to work for him,” said Caroline Ashe, Rutherford’s Guidance Counselor. “Chase is a bright young man, and he clearly has a dream. When he told me he wanted to go to Stanford, I told him he should apply, but that he also needs to be realistic. Stanford is highly competitive, and I convinced him to apply to five other schools as well. Which he did.”
"He can’t expect to live up to the exception to the rule," Ashe continued. "He needs at least a four-year degree or its equivalent if he wants to get anywhere. I’ve told him this repeatedly. I mean, the kid is a thespian, a published poet, and a member of the Glee Club. Where is this sudden swerve toward the tech industry coming from?”
Ashe’s concerns were echoed by Rutherford’s parents, Mark and Linda.
“Chase is going about this completely backward,” Linda Rutherford said, “He’s a B-plus student. I mean, thoroughly just above average, but Stanford-level? And dropping out of college when he hasn’t graduated from high school yet? This is ridiculous.”
“We love our son,” Mark Rutherford added. “And we will support him in any of his decisions. But doesn’t an opportunity like this have to manifest itself before he decides to turn it down? Also, if he says the word 'disruptor' one more time, I'm going to beat his ass."
Rutherford cited the example of Elizabeth Holmes, former CEO and Founder of Theranos as the inspiration for his bold choice. Rutherford is seemingly unaware that Theranos is bankrupt, and that Holmes is facing trial on numerous counts of fraud.
“To be successful, one must project an image of success at all times,” Rutherford said, clearly co-opting a quote from the problematic 1999 film American Beauty. “This explains the black turtleneck and glasses I’m wearing, even though I have 20/20 eyesight and it's 110 degrees out."
"I have a vision,” Rutherford added with a self-doubting little laugh. “All I need now is the follow-through.”
